Kate & The Teddy Bear

When I was a young child, I had a female teddy bear, which someone gave me. How do I know it was female? Well, it had big blue eyes and long painted eyelashes, which were all made of plastic, stuck onto the bear. I still had the bear in primary school, although obviously I was over playing with it at the time! My childhood friends, in my primary school years, often had a habit of breaking my stuff. Once I got an A-Team plastic tent for my bedroom for my 7th or 8th birthday and had some friends over for a little party. They were rowdy and trashed the tent on that very day that I got it. One of my friends also stole a white digital watch from my house around this time and used a marker pen to colour it black. He wore it to school, pretending it was his, until one of my other friends noticed there was a little white spot that he hadn't coloured in. Anyway...

On one occasion my friends trashed this teddy bear, pulling one of the eyes off it and busting it's head open a little so the white foam inside spilled out. I remember being unusually upset about this. I had completely forgotten this event until it came back to me after Kate's death. The first apartment I stayed in, after I moved on from Budapest to Berlin, a month after she had died in hospital in Budapest, had some disturbing paintings on the wall. This was one of them:

It gave me a weird feeling at the time and coming so soon after Kate's death, which involved her head, the synchronicity struck me. Further synchronicities gave me the impression there was some sinister element to her death, obviously tying in with what we were doing in SoulJahm, which was to bring Truth and Freedom into this world through Music. Once I was back in Edinburgh, sometime in 2015, I remembered an event that had occurred in Paris back in 2002, when Kate and I had backpacked around Europe for several months.

We were near the Eiffel Tower and one of those dodgy sketch artists was trying to make a buck, and lured us into sitting for a portrait. He drew a shitty sketch of Kate and I, we paid him the 5 Euros, and then as we were leaving he commented that Kate looked like a teddy bear and laughed. It unsettled me somewhat but I had no idea why. This was long before any knowledge of conspiracies or anything spiritual. During that Europe trip we had also got shouted at by some crazy guy walking down the street in Nice, France and that was also the city I had tried to buy a 12-string Epiphone guitar to busk with but the guy in the music shop talked me out of it, saying it was too good to busk with. Instead I ended up with a Peavey acoustic guitar from Barcelona that I didn't like much. For non-musicians, Peavey are a make more notably used by heavy metal musicians than the kind of musician I am.

The significance of this is as follows:

Before our SoulJahm Europe journey we were in contact with this Irish woman, Susie, and her French freemason husband, Yohan. Susie had made a comment in 2009 online to me that she had a dream and we were all there... by we, I'm assuming she meant her, possibly her husband, myself and perhaps others... but that Kate wasn't there. Then when we had a bust-up with them in 2010 and they knew we were on our way to Europe, he ominously warned me to take care of who I was with (ie. Kate) or find somebody new. Lots of signs and synchronicities connecting to the two of them continued to follow us throughout our time in Europe right up until Kate's death in 2014 and beyond. They lived in Nice, France and went on honeymoon to Paris.

So, as you can see, there is a French connection which runs through all of this. Was the crazy guy who shouted at us in 2002 in Nice, France and the guitar guy in the shop somehow connected to this French freemason, Yohan, who himself happened to be a guitarist? Was the sketch artist in Paris who commented Kate looked liked a teddy bear connected to this? And does all of this connect back to what happened with my teddy bear (Kate too had blues eyes and long eyelashes) and what happened to Kate when she died? Remember, this French freemason, Yohan's ominous remarks about taking care of her or finding somebody new.

I had two childhood friends with French surnames - Vallance and Jarvis. At least one of them would probably have been involved in trashing the teddy bear. The significance of all of this... was I already being targeted as a child by this masonic force (in my case for some reason with a French connection) because they recognised my spiritual energy? This Yohan guy, the French freemason, said to me in that same encounter "we know who you are". I know from reading books and watching documentaries on the lives of Bob Marley and Peter Tosh that they had spiritual attacks to deal with as children. I think it's a common thing because often if you awaken as an adult, there was already a strong spiritual energy, something different about you, as a child.